WHO IS JACK SCHITT?

For some time many of us have wondered just who is JackSchitt?

We find ourselves at a loss when someone says, 'You don't  know Jack Schitt!'

Well, thanks to genealogy efforts, you can now respond in an intellectual way.

Jack Schitt is the only son of Awe Schitt.

Awe Schitt was married to O. Schitt, the fertilizer magnate, and  owner of Needeep N. Schitt, Inc. They had one son, Jack.

In  turn, Jack Schitt married Noe Schitt. The deeply religious  couple produced six children: Holie Schitt, Giva Schitt,  Fulla Schitt, Bull Schitt, and the twins Deep Schitt and Dip  Schitt.

Against  her parents' objections, Deep Schitt married Dumb Schitt, a  high school  dropout.

After  being married 15 years, Jack and Noe Schitt divorced. Noe Schitt later married Ted Sherlock, and because her kids were living with them, she wanted to keep her previous name. She  was then known as Noe Schitt-Sherlock.

Meanwhile, Dip Schitt married Loda Schitt, and they produced a son with a  rather nervous disposition who was nick-named Chicken Schitt.

Two of the other six children, Fulla Schitt and Giva Schitt, were  inseparable throughout childhood and subsequently married the Happens brothers in a dual ceremony.

The wedding announcement in the newspaper announced the Schitt-Happens nuptials.

The Schitt-Happens children were Dawg, Byrd, and Horse.

Bull Schitt, the prodigal son, left home to tour the world.

He recently returned from Italy with his new Italian  bride, Pisa Schitt.

Now  when someone says, 'You don't know Jack Schitt,' you  can  correct  them.

Sincerely,

Crock O. Schit